Day 27--May 6, 2009

My trip back tonight was quite lonely. I am used to having Michael kicking the back of my seat, screaming for his “dawby” ( the stuffed dog he sleeps with), or having shoes mysteriously disappear. This evening was quite different. Nanna has gone home for the evening and offered to pick Michael up for the afternoon, and then keep him at her house over night. He will then have the opportunity to go to daycare again tomorrow and play with his buddies. We are trying desperately to put some order back into his life. While only being two, he has had to learn to eat, sleep, bathe, and play in an entirely new environment 4 days per week. He has only been able to sleep in his “big boy bed” three nights per week. It is tough to hear him begin calling for mommy as soon as he and I turn into the driveway at home. He readily bursts through the door with the “mommy where are you?” that we were so used to hearing a month ago. He then searches high and low through an eerily empty house for the other half of his parents to only find me over and over again with a perplexing look upon his face.By this time he is ready for bed, and we go through the bedtime rituals. Michael has had to walk past his much loved and worn toys, left dormant for weeks on end and go directly to bed. He like many of us has lost all control of his life. His schedule and routine have fallen victim to the collateral damage of “Katie’s Story.” Until recently Michael had been doing well with his potty training. He was not perfect but he was making some effort, which is all we asked. Currently he has realized that all he has control of is when and where he uses the bathroom. He has reverted entirely back to diapers. Upon a bit of inquiry with those who know more child psychology that I, we have discovered that this is a normal coping mechanism to the second hand stress that he is enduring. Hopefully this will be the biggest concern that we will have with him during this time. Beth and I love him dearly; he is my buddy, my first born, my son. He is tough and resilient, I know that he will bounce right back when little sister comes home. Speaking of little sister: She was exceptionally happy and active. Tonight was my night for diaper duty. When I picked her up, I instantly noticed that she was soaking wet, so I jumped on my fatherly duties and made her dry all the way around, diaper, clothes, bed linens, the works! In nearly a repeat of the previous night, Katie began to exhibit those curious expressions and then it happened….yep, another eruption! And into another diaper less than 2 minutes old. You gotta love it! Once I had this cleaned up, it was time for the nightly nurse assessment which Katie passed with flying colors. I was happy to see that Katie was exhibiting the classic signs of a hungry baby. She was a bit whiney, and was sucking her fists and blanket. When the Nurse handed me the bottle, Beth and I said our little “let it click” prayer.Katie sailed right onto that bottle and rapidly downed 9 of the 10ccs that the nurse had put in the bottle. Upon adding another 20 to said bottle, Katie again began to suckle, albeit with a bit less enthusiasm. All total over the next several minutes I was able to coax another 13ccs into her. This made her grand total for this feeding at 22ccs. This is her highest amount yet! Oh Lord let this have been the click. The rest of her feeding took place through the naso-gastric tube after she rejected the bottle. Beth and I were still proud of our baby. The rest of our visit this evening was spent adoring our littlest one, and beaming in our delight over her and our son. We are so fortunate to have our little family and can’t wait until Michaels little lips can gently and innocently touch Katie’s forehead for the first time.We thank the Lord daily for Katie’s tenaciously holding onto good ground, and even more for her little progresses, for He is worthy to be praised. Revelation 4:11 reminds us “Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.” We have the option and freedom to serve the Lord or not. He created us to have free will. Had he not done so, we would be no better than mindless robots. What glory would that provide our King? We thank You Lord for Your continued blessings, and for good choices!